Turning On 'Getting Off'

My vibrator is out of batteries. This realization hit me last night after a particularly raunchy television show (to each their own). I found myself desperately searching my room for another battery operated device to be sacrificed but found myself cursing the overwhelming presence of rechargeable items in my apartment. The loss of my vibrator was a moment of true weakness. After months of lacking a sexual partner I have become dependent on sexual pleasure. Without my vibrator I felt a serious low-- one that made me realize how important that orgasm really is to my sanity and frankly, how I get turned on knowing I'll be getting off.

I mentioned my tragic loss at happy hour the next day to my lovely lady friends who range from religiously celibate to practically engaged to, well, those who view sex as something to be served with breakfast, lunch and dinner-- no matter who the waiter is. With one exception, everyone felt my pain. Despite having men frequently, having intimate relationships or even a moral repugnance to premarital sex every single one of the ladies used a vibrator. It struck me, having clinged to my vibrator only to overcome my recent lack of sex, that even girls who were having frequent sex with men felt at a complete loss without their own mechanism for as my friend called it "the orgasm you couldn't fake if you wanted to."

Yet, for some reason the vibrator has been seen as a tool for the lonely --as something women who cannot have a man have to use to meet our single sexual needs. The problem is that when women who are involved in sexual relationships are still using it, there needs to be a new discussion about how getting off has become more of an issue than getting some. Women, for the most part, have accepted that they will not get off every time they have sex. Women have to view sex as less a gamble and even more often a challenge. Men's egos have to be stroked more often than their dicks-- so when a woman finds herself in the throws of a sex that isn't going to get her there, she has to weigh the fake against the inevitable insecurity and often frustration that follows. Yet, the vibrator shows that women do care about getting off and have found the vibrator the relationship-saving compromise as opposed to the single woman's weapon of choice.

For some reason there is still a stigma that follows discussion of vibrators, dildos and sex toys to get women off. The problem is that men are not always so great at it. If women could view sex as men do-- varying in intensity of the result instead of the absence of it-- I would not see it as the problem it is. Women statistically will not get orgasms from pure vaginal stimulation, they will not get off from sex and they will not tell men when they are just doing something wrong. This combination of factors means that making discussions and usage of vibrators okay is an important step in making sex better. Practice makes perfect, ladies. You can't expect men to teach you what you like and how you like it. You have to know. They best way to get to know yourself is to embrace your own sexuality, masturbation and good vibrations.

So after a quick run to the convenience store across the block I am getting back on my getting off. You all should get on it too, because nothing is as big as a turn on as knowing that at the end of the road, instead of the big fake you will get the big O.