I want a beer and to see something naked...

Jeff Foxworthy attempts to answer the always humorous question about what men are thinking. His response? "I want a beer and I want to see something naked." Jerry Seinfeld also attempts a response with "Nothing. We aren't thinking about anything. Our mind is a total blank." Chris Rock's famous line "Feed Me. F$%^ Me. Shut the F(*# up." has had people laughing for years. The odd thing is, women are not really guessing what men are thinking because we want to know, but because we want to show them that we think that way too. Somehow in the past decade, being a 'cool' girl became defined as thinking like a man...

You know this girl--you are sitting in a bar in a group of guys and girls and she asks you to move so she can watch Sports Center. The response is predictable: every guy at the table admiringly stares at her with an impressed glance as she focuses hard on the television screen. When you are sitting around the table laughing about how size does matter or how it is sad that hot television personalities are suddenly too young for you, she chimes in about how it is not the size but the skill, and by the way-- who are these TV stars? She only watches sports. It is hard for me to help rolling my eyes at this girl, but sometimes I feel myself becoming a version of her. For some reason admitting my love for Gossip Girl or my intimate relationship with Ben & Jerry is something I feel like I need to hide, while men often gloat about their video games, sports addictions and love of hot young female stars.

Of course there are women who like sports and sterotypically male associated activities. I happen to be an obsessive sports fan of one of my college teams. Yet, my problem is the way that embracing hobbies and interest that are associated with men is something girls use to get positive attention, while embracing female sterotypes is considered embrassing. Admitting that I like mixed drinks and think beer tastes like piss, might make that guy think that I am a prissy girl. If I concede I have never seen or cared to see Sports Center and would much rather watch Sex and the City while eating chocolate, I become somehow undesirable. While men who embrace their beer drinking, sports-obsessive personalities in public, women cater to them--yet my wine sipping, diet plan and shopping habit are compeltely off-limits.

There are men who can play this game too. Kudos to you, gentlemen. The ones who admit they cry when they get overwhelmed and thought 27 Dresses was a cute film. The men who will order a Sex on the Beach with a smile that says, so I like fruity drinks--you dont? Yet, for men who are trying to get laid, expressing a love of things that will make their date want to sleep with them is just a part of the game. If women only took it to this level, I would be keen to watch the show. The problem is that girls take it to competitive and pervasive level where it is used to undercut their female friends and reinforce the image that being girly, well, sucks. I know a girl who is an expert at this, always boasting about her love of beer and football while downing pizza and chips in front of the guys, while running off to the gym seconds later and living on salads for the rest of the week.

I love my girliness and I think men do too, because, well, it is me. I hate nature and hiking, but don't mind working my ass off in a gym. I am not really into shopping but love to find a bargain and could talk for hours about how much money I saved on a shopping spree. I eat ice cream like it is the secret to life and dance around my room (in headphones) when no one is watching. I cry in movies and would rather watch Hardball with Chris Matthews than baseball with anyone. I drink mixed drinks--rum and diets are my preferred poison and I think that the boys on Gossip Girl are so cute that I am inclined to send fan mail (though not hang up their posters, I am in my twenties...). I think the way women who embrace football while shunning shopping to look like more of a man, undermine how great it is to be a woman. It is not about what you like or do not like, but rather expressing who you really are. If you love football, great! But the chance of it being the most important thing in your life only when you are surrounded by male friends or colleagues and never in our one on one conversations is a little hard to believe.

So what are men thinking? I am sure that the answer varies--but I bet they are not all thinking, "man, I want a woman who is just like me, agrees with everything I say and likes what I like-- wouldn't that be awesome." So get him a beer, but you can order you like...I still think he'll want to get you naked.

JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU LESSON: Girls who flirt by feigning extreme loves of sports, beer and farting jokes are done. Crude senses of humor and interests transcend gender lines, ladies. Which means, the way you talk to guys should reflect the same interests and jokes that you use with your girls. No one is into people pretending to be a man to get a man, so embrace who you are. There are lots of things that turn men off quickly, but what you drink or watch on TV is rarely among the deal breakers. So be yourself--or if not that--at least dont become him.