Getting Into It?

Greg, you might be right. I hate saying this. I hate the message of "He's Just Not That Into You" enough that this entire blog is devoted to countering it. Until, well, I was (euphemistically) broken up with and I started to re-evaluate Greg's wisdom.

I have come to the conclusion that Greg is absolutely right that it is far, far better to be alone than to be with someone whom you're just not that into. Which, if you're honest, you're probably not if he exhibits any of the douchebag behavior Greg laments in the book. Ladies, if the first part of your day is a 30 to 60 minute bitch fest about the guy you're dating, trust me, you are not into him and he is probably not into you. If you've gotten to the point in any relationship where you're making up excuses not to sleep together, that's where you call it quits and perhaps invest in a rabbit.

Which leads me to my critique, I'll accept that it's better to be alone than together and miserable, but I still have trouble with Greg placing all the agency at the foot of men. Greg and Liz both present women as these desperate, lonely creatures starving for attention of any kind. I just don't believe that the same powerful, articulate women I see in the boardroom, on the dance floor, and in the front row of my classes are incapable of calling the shots in a relationship too. Do we all really just collapse in a puddle of tears beside the phone when he doesn't call? I think not.

Maybe I'm being unfair. The book is targeted to the demographic of women who self-select to buy and read a book entitled basically "Your boyfriend hates you." (and I would add the subtitle: "If you're honest, you probably hate him too.") And I think Greg is right on to tell anyone who's wondering whether it's okay if her boyfriend cheating on her since she gained 20 pounds that she needs lose 175 pounds of a douchebag boyfriend. I just don't think that the majority of women need this message. Not to be sanctimonious, but I certainly didn't. Although, perhaps you can't reminded enough not to ever ever take yourself for granted or be in an unhealthy relationship. I think that's a lesson worth waking up to every morning.