Babes in Boyland

"From the minute you walked in the joint, I could tell that you were a girl of distinction a real big spender..." The bow ties, cuff links and black speedos can only mean one thing: The Chippendales.

Oh yes, ladies for the bargain price of thirty dollars at the half price ticket booth in Vegas and a short shuttle ride off the strip you can spend an hour living a fantasy-- or many. A team of men with chiseled chests and flimsy tank tops will lip sync their way into your hearts (and minds) dressed as everything from cowboys to naval officers. All the while the bachelorette parties, birthday groups and the rest of us kinky chicks who don't need an excuse scream obscenities and enjoy the show.

There are a lot of male strip shows in Vegas, and after one night of the Chippendales, I was ready to try them all. Yet, the next night as my friend and I settled into our seats for American Storm, apparently they were on VH1 and now they are taking it off in the Stratosphere Hotel. We heard the same expectant screams and saw the same chiseled chests but the show fell flat. Sure, the guys were hot, but they missed the boat on stripping for the ladies-- we want you to take it off AND turn us on.

The Chippendales made me smile from the second I walked into the room. They approached their show with the sense of humor we all needed to justify being there in the first place. They played songs we all knew and loved, danced with us young ladies and gave the older ladies roses. The Chippendales are not strippers--they seducers. Their show is more than hot men dancing on a stage, but a complete seduction. I can rather confidently assert that every woman left that show with an amazing experience that we all wanted to remember (easily achieved with the many souvenirs in the gift shop you exit into after the show).

I am in my early twenties and meet my share of good-looking men. Chippendale quality bodies, but American Storm personalities. They come in strong with a "hey baby" and a confident smile that says they are eager to take it off, but have no idea how to turn me on. They have great lines about my eyes and my smile-- some less polished muscle men go straight for a 'nice tits' or 'you make me so hot'--but they don't get that I'm really smiling at the guy behind them rolling his eyes and looking at me as if to say 'need help?'

Watching hot men dance isn't worth the free drinks they offer if they aren't going to do it with a little personality. I think it is so easy for us ladies to make relatively attractive men dance, sing and anything else if they think it will get them laid. So what makes the Chippendales worth paying for is getting to enjoy the sexy without worrying about the sex. All the Chippendales expect in return for treating us like hot goddesses for an hour is that we tell our friends how amazing it is and our ticket fee. I'm glad to give them both. Go see the Chippendales and next time a guy expects you to take it off, tell him to turn you on.